Warning: I'm about to wax melodramatic.
As I sit here listening to Hank Williams, Sr. and contemplating life, I realize--as I do nearly every day at this time--that I am one lucky motherfucker. Usually, I'm up and jolly because we're living this awesome adventure, allowed to persue our dreams of locavoric eating, somehow financially unscathed by this global crisis, all in great health and prosperity. We have this ridiculous Disney-esque apartment on the Rhone and wake up to birds flying by our windows. Our kids are now bilingual, having survived integration (so far). And though my womb expelled our last attempt, we can conceive again (uh, in April sometime).
Yeah, great. All that stuff is super. Super duper. But the reason I am all teary-eyed and Hank-y today, is friendship. I'm really lucky to have the friends I do. I have a great big hoard of kick-ass acquaintances and I cherish them, but it's the friends... the gems who silently roll their eyes when I get all blah blah blah, but still order another beer, there for the long haul. Y'all are keeping me going, kids.
Wow, you say, you're really taking this miscarriage a lot harder than we thought you would. But, I say, that's not it, really. I'm actually VERY over the miscarriage. But the event of the drugs and the subsequent valley have allowed me to indulge in a LOT of self-reflection. In a lot of reflection in general. And in my musings, I have been hit in the face, time and time again, with the sheer intensity of friendship. Just punch drunk friendship with things said (even in passing) that are so dirty true that they stop me in my tracks, knock the wind out of me and send my marbles rolling around in my head.
So, I say... Thank you.
Okay, enough of that shit. Let me tell you a secret... Shhhhhhh... I've gone vegan.
Yeah, alright, that's not a secret, I've already mentioned a couple of times that I was gonna do it for detox. BUT... I think it might be permanent *cringe*. When I first thought about doing it, I thought, "Shit the bed, Fred. This is gonna be a bitch." I sure do like buttah. And I like me a big fat buttery omelette. Oooh, and I LOOOOOVE me some quiche, y'all. And you'll not be surprised to know that by the first evening, I was DYING for something dead and decomposing, fermented or churned, live or dead cultures, whatever as long as it's ANIMAL!!!!! But then, I woke up the next morning so empowered that I had survived it (mostly mental, yeah, I know), I was ready for a new day.
Yesterday, a normal ordinary day, was one of the best days of my entire life. I felt like a whole new person. Is that possible? I feel so energetic and awake. I hesitate to say the word, "clean" but that's the feeling that comes to mind. I feel clean. Like someone has sandpapered all the shit off my insides and this is only day three here, folks.
And get this... When I was making Ryan his turkey sandwich yesterday, I accidentally (a reflex really) licked the mayo-covered knife. It tastes like ASS. ASSSSSS I tell you. What the?
The even crazier part is that when I really examined my diet, I realized that I'm not really very meat much anyway. Now, as I mentioned in a paragraph above, I like eggs and I like milky products. But I can see the logic in the whole humans-are-the-only-species-who-drinks/eats-milk-as-an-adult-or-drinks/eats-the-milk-of-another-species argument. The way I see it, milk and its offspring are treats. They're no really necessary. They're like cake. We don't NEEEEEEED cake, right? We like it. It's yummy. It makes mouths happy. But we don't NEED it for survival, right? That's butter.
Oh, sure, you can throw the B-12 argument out there and I get ya. I'm nodding my head. And that's definitely a good argument worth considering and I AM researching it. But my body ain't lying, yo. I really haven't felt this awake in YEARS. I'm not sure I ever have. Now, this hasn't translated into anything other than lots of energy and plenty of housework getting done. This hasn't turned into pages and pages of brilliant, enlightened writing or anything. But it has definitely melted away most of the clouds. And it's definitely detoxing the SHIT out of me (I mean, and **TMI ALERT****TMI ALERT** I'm peeing all day long and pooping after nearly every meal). So, I guess I mean that literally.
You think I've gone bonkers? Let me give you a comparison of my normal diet vs. my new vegan one. (See above post.)
See? I'm not really eating that much differently. It's a really small change for me with super big results.
I'm sorry if I'm getting churchy about it, but you know how I am. When I feel good about something, I wanna share it with my buds, yeah?
Well, that's about all the time I have for right now folks. Sam is out of town today and I have all three kids here, so, renewed energy or not, I have to conserve it as long as they're all awake.
Taker easy, y'all.
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